So if you follow my blog you might have been wondering where I have been. I have still been posting but not as much as normal. Recently I took on a new project and it has been very time consuming. I am always coming up with new ideas…some I let go and other I jump too quickly on. With my latest project I truly felt like God was leaning me in the direction I was going. The name, the logo, the website all come together quickly and seamlessly. This is going to be great!, I though. I am really on to something.
Well a month in I started to feel like I had made a mistake. This project was taking up way too much of my time. As a stay at home mom, my toddler is my main priority during the day. So I can work in the morning if I drag myself out of bed but I usually stay up late working. Because I very limited time to myself (which is a blessing I am happy to have) I have to choose what I work on when Ali is sleeping and the new project was taking all of that time. Now, don’t get me wrong I fully believe in working hard for your dreams so if you are a mom who is working on a business every minute of her spare time or taking night classes online I am cheering you on. And if you ever need a break, need to vent or cry please feel free to reach out to me. The thing is I hope your dream or end goal is bringing you joy and even though sometimes it might be tough I believe overall it should make you happy.
The problem for me was while I truly thought this project was going to make me happy it begin to drain me leaving me constantly overwhelmed and unhappy. So I started to reevaluate things…. If I continued down this path would things change, were the feelings temporary? Will there be a turning point in which all the time and hard work will pay off and I can just enjoy the project again and have more free time?
I started to feel as though the answers to all of my questions were no. I wanted to get back to my blog and have time to read and just relax on the weekends.
So one afternoon I broke down and admitted to my husband, who helped me get the project off the ground, that I felt as though it was a mistake and that I should let it go. I worried that he was going to think .…another failed idea down the drain. Instead he told me he was proud that I could see that I needed to quit and lighten my load. In that moment a weight lifted off my shoulders.
I honestly don’t know if God led me down this path so I would reach a breaking point and realize that my most important job was to Ali and Chris and that even if I let every project go that loving, teaching, chasing, picking up after, and tucking in Ali was enough right now. Or maybe I just got too excited about my idea and let my imagination get the best of me. Either way I am using this a lesson and anytime you can do that you have won something.
So what are my next steps:
1. Focus on my relationship with God. I want to walk closer with God so I can be more aware of where He is leading me. I am going to start by reading my devotionals and books on prayer that have been in my TRB list for sometime. This is also the backbone for everything else on my list.
2. Strive to be the best mom to Ali and best wife to Chris. I am not going to be distracted with phone, computers, email, to-do list etc. when I am playing with Ali. I am going to hang out with my husband, we have both gotten into a bad habit of constantly working. When Ali hits the pillow we hit our computer. While we will still do this some nights because we do have dreams and goals for our lives and family we are going to set aside more time to just hang out!
3. Be there for others. There are many people in my life who are going through hard times and many people who I just need to be better about staying connected with. I strive to be there for them but I don’t always know how to be. So going back to my first step. I am going to spend more time in prayer for my loved ones and also pray that I am led to support them in the best ways possible.
4. I am going to focus on me. We have joined a gym which I love going to. It is a great time to get some time to myself. I am also going to set aside time to do things I enjoy like reading and crafts. Even as busy mom’s we all need some us time.
5. I am going to get back to my blog and my other passive income projects. My blog gives me enjoyment and an outlet for many ideas. Since I also love to create I am going to setup some of my designs with shops that sell the products. I will still have my own Etsy shop but I love the though that I can design something once and another site will make and sell the products. This allows me to still contribute to our family without using much time. But I will not overwhelm myself, because as I mentioned before I know that as a stay at home mom I contribute so much already.
When creating the images for this post I came across the quote “Winners Never Quit,” which is a good quote for many things, such as working out, preparing for a marathon, working towards a goal but the quote is not always true. I can think of several instances in which winners quit, such as quitting unhealthy habits. Have you ever felt like you need to let something go? Have you quit something and felt like a winner? Please share your stories below.